crash crash crash...i feel like i'm crashing into depression big time right now..and all it took was an old face at the bar..telling me things i didn't want to hear...how he met kevin, and how his current boyfriend is a dog..i really don't want to hear about him from other people...or anything like that...i guess i'm just weird in that manner...i think i'm calling into work tomorrow..i haven't since may..so i figured that i owe it to myself..and honestly, right now, i feel like i need the mental break..just a day to be by myself for the most part..sleep a lot...watch tv..and sit around..do an evaluation of where my life is going and what i need to do...seek therapy? work on it on my own?try to feel better through friends..get a new job..i have to do something...because the crashes are getting more difficult to deal with...and are harder to dig myself out of...so yeah, the townhouse on wednesday nights are out..too many people that i don't want to see..ever again...i don't know

i got to really think things through right now