he was there last night, at the show..with his welcoming smile and comforting hands that i remembered...but i felt very unwelcomed and uncomfortable when he approached..

he was visiting a friend that works there...and happen to pop on into the back to see what was going on and then i saw him...it hurt, and i was frustrated...

he was obvisiouly using again..i could tell mainly because of the drink in his hand..and he talked about smoking "a bowl" earlier..

he talked about the money he owes me..i don't even know why he bothers..he is behind on rent, somehow....he kept on following me around, still touching me, putting his uncomfortable arms around me..i missed the touch..

and then he did it, he told me "you just did a 'david' thing"..i wanted to punch him, i wanted to cry, i wanted to leave, i wanted to just get away and be somewhere else...he said one of the most kindest, sweetest, whatever things to me once...and then used it again nearly a year later...i think that's what hit me the most