ok, my last entry was lame, and felt more forced than anything at all...so maybe i should put some real content in here just because

so my therapist appt. was interesting..we talked about my dad and what i found out last weekend...and talked about more of that...then we talked about jeff..a lot...we discussed the beginning and the end of the relationship...and i started to wonder why i hung on so long...and i know why i did..and why i still feel the way i do..and how i never felt i had closure with him...

then later today i started to think of other boyfriends...again..like i've been doing a lot lately...and why i still hang out with him...if i'm just setting myself up to get hurt again..and question why they want me to be around...and i guess what i'm doing in this part of my life

tomorrow i am going to mankato to hang out with family..and probably friends if they are around..i hope...

i feel as if i'm doing a lot of things wrong in my life still...and once this school thing starts...my health will decline..i keep myself pretty occupied as it is...i'm a bit worried about where things are going to be going this winter...cause i'm not seeing happiness at the end of the road...i really do not know how interested i am in meeting any one new...the idea used to appeal to me, now it just frightens me

there's this really good song by the badger king called brain monsters..it's really good...ritchey and jona sound really passionate in their singing...i hope they sing it on wednesday..i'm excited about meeting some more k-reckers...i've met two...and two more next week...hooray