i'm so excited about my mother's new computer...it's really nice that she has a better computer...that's 3 times faster, but still pretty slow..but quick enough! i can have aol and msn on at the same time that i'm connected to the internet..and i can't believe how easy it was to install the cable modem...just put in the disks and that was about it...wasn't difficult at all

so i think i need to go onto this relationship thing further..i was feeling bitter this morning i guess..relationships aren't all that bad..i mean, they are fun, and i do have fun, and don't take everything serious but too much..and that's a problem i know i have and am working on it

but i guess the problem i have is why i stick around people i've dated...why i hang out with them and whatnot...i still like them....i have that hope that we will get back together..and then they start seeing someone else, but don't mind me being around..which is nice...i like what i have had..well, jeff is different..that's a whole different book..blah blah blah..what the hell am i saying anyway? who cares? why am i getting so worked up about this stuff...i think it's the holidays

on a different note, i have been feeling creative...i restructured an old song and made it sound fantastic..i really like how it sounds..it's short, but really good..now i want to start working on my project, but i have a feeling that not many people will help me out as i would like..i want to record songs with about a billion people..just singing or humming or something...of course this is like the microphones, but i very much enjoy the idea..i love the idea...i want people to help..there are some creative souls i know of out there..but will they take me seriously? or just kind of go..oh, ok..whatever...oh, that sounds cool...blah blah..grr..i don't know