so everybody's internet is being taken away at work, so i'm not saying a thing to anybody..ha ha, but whatever

i really hate that i still can't make decisions about things, like school..oh i'm definitely going, but am i going to end up the way i was before? will i get tired about it one week and then all happy about it the next, blah

i'm still frustrated with the email i got yesterday..i hate it when i can't instantly fix things, make them better, and what not..that was the problem i had with jeff...things would get bad, and i thought "well, the drugs will stop, i will help" when i knew deep down inside that i couldn't help, i have no control over these things, and if he doesn't want to call me, i know it will be frustrating and i'll have to try to deal with it again during school, but i won't let it take a toll on me like it did last time..i won't let anyone take me down now, i'm getting somewhere, i'm doing things, and i don't care if it sounds selfish, but it's time i have my way with things, and do what i want, what i feel deep inside, because that is what i really want