so today was kind of a bust, i got some webpage stuff done, watched some buffy with jill..and then we were a bit clueless, so we decided to go out to the townhouse, i was in the mood to dance, and so was she...we went there, there was a drag show going on, so we hung out in the piano bar...i saw kevin peeking in, so i kind of hid my face..later, his friends from work came in and noticed me so they talked to me for a little while, and then left, told kevin i was around, so he came back and talked to me, it was very civil, and i was nice and not bitchy, he asked about the cat again, and said that i could bring her over sometime, he did a little bit of touching, like a pat on the back and whatever...and then left..his friends came back, bought jill and i a drink, after that, it was time to dance...jill and i danced for quite awhile, it was awesome, we stood on the "stage" or whatever, i took off my shirt (i still had a wife beater on) and i think there were guys actually talking about me..i saw kevin's boyfriend, alone for the most part, like he just left him there or something..i had a good laugh at that

okay, so i ran out of smokes, jill gave me some money to buy some, i'm standing there for awhile, and this guy comes up and grabs my ass..like a tight grab, he walks to my side and starts talking to me, telling me that i had a really nice ass, offered me a smoke, so i took it, started talking, and i said, "i'm not interested, i'm on a break" then this old guy was making fun of him..a second after that, this different guy starts talking to me about piercings because i have an orbital, and he's never seen one before...so that was all cool, and then finally i got my smokes and left...i was really drunk at that point..that stupid ass grabbing guy follows me to the bathroom and i shut myself in the stall and he calls me an asshole..i hate being called an asshole, on my way back to jill, i pass kevin, and pretend not to notice him, he pats me on the stomach, and i go dancing...last song plays, i find jill and her girl (well, not yet) and that guy shows up flexing his "muscles" and i flex mine because honestly, my arms are much better..he grabs me and pulls me toward him and i say "i'm not interested" he calls me an asshole again and finally leaves...we leave and go to a party for a bit, i had to come home and end my evening.....man, i got hit on by 2-3 guys, ass grabbed by 2 (first one was a drag queen shortly after i got there)...and looked at and talked about by a few others..it was great to feel like i was in the spotlight..and i have felt a bit more closure with kevin..not so angsty and bitter...i've decided that i'm just lonely...that's all...and when i'm lonely, i think of the most relationships, and miss the people, that being mainly kevin, and tom a little, even though tom is something that i should definitely not mess with...it's definitely water, brush teeth, and bed time..i'm feeling good tonight