so i had breakfast with kevin this morning, we went to a place that i have never been..it was pleasant, there wasn't any upsetting, it was just hanging out..talking about whatever..basically the things we talked about before...me asking questions about golfing and whatnot...i wasn't bitter about things..i didn't feel this need to be with him, i didn't feel any of those things..it was all okay...i did a little touching, cut a few of his stray hairs, took care of him a little, like i do with people in my pasts...it feels good though..i don't feel empty..i did lose something in my life..but i am more open about it now..about what i lost, and have learned...i hope my feeling of goodness right now lasts...depression has been kicking my ass real hard in the past couple of weeks