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when i was in 6th grade i think, we were all sitting in d.a.r.e. class and i was really bored and started remembering this dream i had about how i shot myself in front of the whole school during the teacher vs. student games we had each year..and so i was just trying to remember it, and how i could see everyones reaction....

then i decided i wanted to write a story about my dream..but not as in a dream way, more of a story way...yeah so anyway

i started the lines out with "tomorrow, i'm going to kill myself" cause that is how the dream started, it was the day before..and as soon as i started writing the second sentence which would have included "in my dream" but that part never got written..my name was called and i had to do some skit or something..i took the paper and buried it into my binder and did whatever it was...came back to sit down 3 minutes later to see my binder open and that page missing

i guess what had happened is someone took it out, read it, was shocked, showed it to someone else, some teacher saw what was going on and took the paper and then reported it to the principal...i don't really remember what happened after i found out the teacher had it...

i ended up going to the principals office and my parents were called, and they were trying to reassure me that nothing was wrong with me when i explained it to them it was a dream that i had..i mentioned something about pearl jams jeremy video on mtv and then heard how mtv was to blame..it was a dream after all...it was something that i didn't even think about doing in real life..i was just fascinated how the dream went..and things were totally taken out of context..

i went home and got the talk about mtv and how i'm ok, and that i'm not depressed because depression wasn't real and blah blah blah....thank god no one got to the back page of my 4th grade notebook that had "i hate myself i want to die" written over and over and over again all over it...

no, depression isn't real..blah blah blah..."my child is ok" whatever